Quotes from Urban Legend

Sasha: Spit it out Felicia.
Felicia: Thats just the problem, I didn't.

Dean Adams: Missing? He's not missing! It's the weekend. He's most likley shacked up in some motel with a girl. Or a guy... farm animal... whatever! Weren't you ever eighteen?
Reese Wilson: Not that kind of eighteen.

Parker: Please, Damon is the biggest practical joker I know. He once convinced a sophomore that he was the middle Hanson brother just so he could get laid.

[to Natalie, Brenda, Paul, and Sasha]
Parker: Don't you guys get it? Come on, it's just like that urban legend.
Natalie: What are you talking about?
Parker: You know the story, A boy and a girl, parked out in the woods, making out...
Brenda: [to Natalie] You made out with him?

Damon: Hey, we're going down to Parker's dorm. Hootie's gonna pierce his nose.
Natalie: Hootie's a dog, Damon.
Damon: That's no reason why he can't be hip.

Brenda: [stabbing Natalie with the scalpel] Is this the kidney? Or is that the Liver? Oh,well. First organ I see, I'm just gonna grab it!
[Brenda digs the scalpel in deeper, but Reese bursts through the door with her gun aimed at Brenda]
Reese Wilson: Drop the weapon!
Brenda: [turns around and sees Reese] Oh great! Rent-a-cop to the rescue.
Reese Wilson: Move over the the window, now, you loony psycho bitch!

Bitchy Girl: [watching 'Tosh's' dead body being carried out on a stretcher] You should check her pulse, she's been like that for years.

Natalie: Brenda, you need help.
Brenda: I have already tried therapy! Obviously, it did me no good, Natalie.

Brenda: I must say, Natalie, you have proven your friendship to me. Coming all the way out here without even a little pepper spray to defend yourself with.

Parker: [to Paul] If we ever have another E. Coli crisis in the cafeteria, I want you to have the biggest, juiciest burger. My treat.

Damon: I'll see you two in class tomorrow.
Brenda: Unfortunately!

Natalie: Someone's taking all of these urban legends, and making them reality.

Natalie: You're fucking crazy!
Brenda: I prefer the term "eccentric". But, yeah, I guess I'm a little "nutty".

Brenda: Don't you want to be an urban legend, Nat? All your friends are now.

Tosh Guaneri: Shut off the fucking light!

Damon: Are you sure you don't wanna think this over? Cos, I'm all about you, Natalie.
Natalie: One black eye or two Damon. You decide.
Damon: Fine. I'm gonna go take a piss.

Professor William Wexler: Had those before?
Brenda: Yeah. They're Pop Rocks; they crackle in your mouth.
Professor William Wexler: Eat some... thirsty?... What's wrong? Something you might have heard about mixing Pop Rocks and Soda?
Brenda: Well, supposedly, your stomach and your intestines and everything bursts.

Paul Gardener: Hey, how about some interviews? You know, students react to the tragedy on campus.
Brenda: Okay. I am saddened, and moved by the tragic...
Natalie: This was someone's life Paul. Did you even spend one minute thinking about that?
Paul Gardener: No, I didn't. But because of my story, three-thousand five-hundred students will. I think that's enough to help me sleep at night.

Michael McDonnell, gas station attendant: Someone's in the back... SEAT!

Paul Gardener: How long have you been working here?
Weird Janitor: Too damn long.

Natalie: [after previously walking in on Tosh having sex] Hey Tosh, sorry about last night.
Tosh Guaneri: Yeah? Well, don't let it happen again.
Natalie: [notices a tub of Lithium on the floor] Here you dropped these.
[Tosh takes them and goes back to the internet. Natalie picks up the phone but it's dead as Tosh is online]
Natalie: Umm... Tosh; excuse me.
Tosh Guaneri: [angrily turns the computer out and puts out her cigarette] This is my phone-line too!

[Damon has just sneaked up on Brenda and Natalie, proceeding to scare them half to death]
Damon: Boo!
Brenda: [In disgust] Is that what you do in your spare time, Damon? Just go around scaring people like a freak?

Reese Wilson: Are you trying to give me a heart attack?
Weird Janitor: Boo.

Bitchy Girl: [says to Natalie while Natalie is walking to her dorm] Sounds like Elvira's raising more than just the dead in there.
Natalie: Thanks for the tip.